Guacamole inflation

Plus electric vehicles, Matt Gaetz cameos + pumpkin tiramisu

Nov 27, 2024

Welcome back to Hot Tip, my dear pals.

If you’re anything like me, the seasonal affective disorder is kicking into high gear, what with the sun setting at 4:30 pm and the news being what it is, but let’s take this moment to get cozy. To make some soup, to read a good book (I’m reading Long Island Compromise by Taffy Brodesser-Akner right now), to watch a good show (I just binged Slow Horses on Apple TV+ which, contrary to my initial assumption, has nothing to do with farm animals and is in fact, excellent), and when all else fails: to download the Roller Coaster Tycoon Classic app onto our devices. Nothing hits quite like building an island where you can just drop angry virtual customers and then go on your merry way to build a log flume. No? Just me? Anyway—

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This week: tariffs, RFK says heroin good, vaccines bad, and some Thanksgiving recipe alts to consider.

Hey, Siri, who pays for tariffs? In my opinion, among the bevy of communications failures from the Democrats this election season (see: Trump voters don’t understand that Obamacare is the same thing as the Affordable Care Act) — not taking the time to explain how tariffs work and that they will in fact drive up costs is chief among them. (Hot tip: This TikTok is worth watching but make sure you come back after!!!)

@pr1nceshawn People explaining how tariffs work. #schittscreek #tariffs

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The idea behind tariffs is that more production and jobs will shift to the US if companies — and in turn, consumers — are taxed at a super high rate for importing goods into the country. But here’s the thing: Trump tried this last time he was president, and it didn’t work. Luckily, he was bang on with everything else.

So, what specifically will get more expensive if Trump follows through on his new 25% tariff plan on goods from Mexico and Canada? To name a few: Gas, cars, produce, and alcohol. Hot tip: 89% of American avocados come from Mexico (you know the jingle, it rocks.) Kamala wanted to give us $25k in down payment support and instead brunch is going to become the actual reason we can’t buy houses.

World’s worst buddy comedy. Elon Musk is (still) squatting at Mar-a-Lago as co-president-elect and sending his mommy on TV to stand up for her big, brave, 53-year-old boy. As you may have heard, Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy have been appointed to head a newly-created “Department of Government Efficiency” and say that they are prepared to actually “accomplish the goal” of trimming government spending, not just talk about it. To that end, they will be hosting a podcast to talk about it, which would be hilarious if it was just a joke and not a 100% real thing.

Law & Order & Cameos. Matt Gaetz is out, and Pam Bondi is in for attorney general. She is a former Florida attorney general and Trump defense attorney during his first impeachment trial (lol, wtf is happening), and now Gaetz is selling Cameos for $500 because whatever was in his ethics committee report was apparently so damning he had to back out and leave Congress, too. Ah, the American dream is alive and well.

These $500 cameos could be worth something some day. Maybe, like, $100.

Hot tip: Upgrade your subscription if you think jokes about how Ted Cruz doesn’t even have a face for radio are worth $5 a month — because they’re only $4 a month for a limited time (Happy holidays!!! War on Christmas, etc.)

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Our soon-to-be Health + Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. wants to take processed foods out of school lunches but maybe throw a little heroin in. Okay fine, not exactly, but he said the drug helped him “sit still” and “read” when he was a student, but yeah, tell me more about the dangers of Froot Loops.

Special counsel Jack Smith moved to drop both federal criminal cases against Trump, but asked to do so “without prejudice,” which just means that the cases could theoretically be brought in the future again. Trump will likely be celebrating, but the guy does love prejudice, so TBD.

New, all-electric mail trucks are being rolled out by the USPS and finally feature 1) air conditioning for the drivers, which, how the f did it take this long? and 2) a vehicle shape that is very weird but still not as ugly as a Cybertruck. And hot tip: If Trump ends the federal EV tax credit, Governor Gavin Newsom says you can get a rebate for buying an electric car in California, as long as it’s not a Tesla. Stay tuned for why this is unfair, from Elon’s mommy.

In a world that is ever-evolving into an even more horrifying hellscape, I know Thanksgiving food is like, the last thing you want to fuck with. But I did come across a few recipes that I think are simply worth your consideration:

This Pumpkin Tiramisu from Food & Wine — and it’s no bake!

Caramelized Onion, Cranberry and Rosemary Tahchin from the New York Times — a Persian rice recipe featuring very familiar Thanksgiving flavors.

Roasted Red Pepper and Feta Cornbread, also from the New York Times. I’d use greek yogurt instead of sour cream, but otherwise am fully in.

Don’t buy gifts for your bosses, but if you’re a boss, do buy gifts for your employees, according to The Cut. No instructions, however, on if you’re self-employed and want to gift yourself a kitchen scale and write it off as a business expense. My accountant reads this newsletter — email me!

A Minnie Mouse balloon will finally make an appearance at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade nearly 100 years after both her husband and her dog, Pluto. See, ladies, we did win this year.

Farmers in Denmark — where there are five times as many pigs and cows as people — are going to start being taxed for their animals’ burps and farts in an effort to curb greenhouse gas emissions. Okay, sharks, this is the perfect time for me to introduce my new product: TUMS for Pigs.

Greatest movie of all time Mary Poppins is turning 60 years old this week. A lot of television we’ve been waiting forever for is back: Silo, Bad Sisters, + The Sex Lives of College Girls. And apparently millennials are aging better than other generations, so here’s to sunscreen, retinol (I’m an A313 devotee), and also looking however you look because babe, you’re perfect and aging is a gift.

Hot tip: Kieran Culkin is a capital “M” MOVIESTAR and Jesse Eisenberg is a capital “F” FILMMAKER. Go see A Real Pain.