Leave Arnold Palmer and other dead people alone
Also, where in the world is Kamala Harris? (answer: everywhere)
Welcome back to Hot Tip, the newsletter for people whose Roman Empire is Jack Schlossberg. Hot tip for social media video editors: Stop spoiling the funny part of the video with a short clip of it at the top. Why are you doing that? We can wait 17 seconds to see it in real time.
It’s the two monthaversary of Hot Tip, a publication so official I italicize it like it’s the New York Times, and I’m so thankful to have hundreds of readers. If you are enjoying it, please forward it to someone else you think would, too. If you’re not, please forward it to someone you hate. This is a numbers game.
Closing arguments. T-2 weeks til Election Day and VP Kamala Harris is touring Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania with Liz Cheney and hitting Georgia with Bruce Springsteen (cue “Born to Run”) and Texas later this week.
It’s not a campaign like anything we’ve seen in our lives, where Lizzo and the ghost of Ronald Reagan could feasibly be a double header for a single event (seventeen of his staff members have endorsed Harris). Some people are turned off by her appealing to “moderate Republicans,” but make no mistake, Jill Stein enthusiasts (why?), there are only two choices this year: one is joyful, progressive, and compassionate. The other is hateful, bigoted, and stupid. Until we abolish the electoral college (and let’s also do paper straws and daylight saving time while we’re at it) those swing state undecided voters could — pun intended — decide if Donald Trump Jr. is named crown prince come January. (But obviously not Eric.)
Of course, it also depends on turnout!!! And my home state of Georgia is killing it. More than 1.4 million people have already voted and Marjorie Taylor Greene is already crying conspiracy, which is the electoral version of a groundhog seeing its shadow (two more weeks of hell.)
Meanwhile, Donald Trump served fries for several minutes at McDonald’s and was asked whether the minimum wage should be raised. His response: “Well, I think this: I think these people work hard, they’re great, and I just saw something, the process. It’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful thing to see.”
But sure, media, tell me more about VP Harris’ lack of specifics.
Tim Walz is also making the rounds on The View and The Daily Show and there has simply never been a cutier pie running for veep than this man!!!
BTW: 10 states have constitutional amendments for abortion rights on the ballot this year (Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, + South Dakota.) Reproductive freedom has already been enshrined in state constitutions in seven other states this very same way. If you know voters in these states, make sure they know how much their voice matters, lest we get stuck with even more voices like these:
On the rocks. At an event in Pennsylvania, Donald Trump detailed plans for his economic policy—just kidding he rambled about the size of deceased pro golfer Arnold Palmer’s penis, calling him “all man” but being sure to add “I love women!!!” aka the boomer’s “no homo.” I never thought I’d find myself wishing someone would just talk about golf instead of whatever they were saying, but here we are. And Fox News apparently felt the same — they cut away from Trump as soon as he dropped the balls.
Voter fraud. Trump may be planning to deport millions of immigrants (read about it here) but a new effort to get Trump elected may end up deporting one incredibly obnoxious immigrant I would be happy to see gone: Elon Musk. (I know this won’t happen, but a girl can dream.)
Free-speech loving Musk, who bought Twitter when people were mean to him on it, then tanked it to the tune of a 35 billion dollar loss, says that anyone who signs his petition in defense of the first and second amendments is eligible to win a million dollars every day until the election. Only problem is paying people to vote is illegal AF. I daresay one might even call it…election interference? Also, dangling a million dollars in front of people likely struggling is gross, literal TV villain behavior!!!
Holy shit grail. Archaeologists are continuing to ignore the risks of their field (being haunted by spirits whose bodies were disturbed in their final resting place) and uncovered 12 human skeletons that are at least 2,000 years old, plus a cup resembling the holy grail in Petra, Jordan — the same place where Indiana Jones found it in The Last Crusade. The thing is, there are more than 200 cups people claim are the “holy grail” around the world — and as far as I’m concerned, the real one is whichever could get me to actually drink water during the day.
☆ True romance. Cheryl Hines says her reaction to her husband RFK Jr.’s sexting scandal will be “in [her] book,” proving once and for all that money actually can buy love.
☆ School of love. Two cast members from School of Rock who met as child actors are getting married, and I care more about Jack Black officiating these nuptials than I do my own wedding.
☆ I, too, am SAG. And before you go, take a delightful look inside John Early’s very well-worn New Yorker tote bag filled with everyday items neither you nor I could live without.
thanks for being here, dear pals. i believe in us.
