Are you listening?

Hi, friends! I know what you’re thinking — we don’t know each other. But much like at the Olive Garden, When You’re Here, You’re Friends. Oh, you didn’t think I would call us family just like that, did you?

I grew up in Cobb County, Georgia – a school district once made famous for putting "evolution is just a theory" stickers in the biology textbooks. I’m a former journalist turned comedy writer who still takes an avid interest in journalism but only if I can make it funny and relatable. More specifically, I’ve worked at CNN, Nightline, and Late Night with Seth Meyers, and I have a lot of thoughts and opinions that simply can’t be left unsaid.

If you’re looking for a place for real politics updates by a writer who doesn’t have to pretend Ted Cruz doesn’t suck, look no further. Or, maybe the list of people I think should have a Nike shoe line over Kyrie Irving? (Hint: There are two Gretas.) News, jokes, newsy jokes and jokey news. That’ll come once a week.

And for paid subscribers, I’ve got even more: Sometimes it’ll be the musings of a single 29-year-old trying to decide whether she would date the man of her dreams if he had a cat; how on earth Nick Parker and Elizabeth James thought they could split up their twins Hallie and Annie and proceed with life normally; whether Chuck Grassley knows he is in the Senate; updated slogans for companies that really want you to know they’re not antisemitic; what I collected at the flea market; possibly what I’m watching, probably what I’m eating, definitely what I am planting in my garden.

I created this newsletter because I am a lady and cannot possibly have a late night show. If you followed me here from Twitter, thanks! If you’re new to the @kosherhotdogz brand, welcome.

I may be screaming into the void, but I know the content will be great. I’m excited to share it all with you.